We should be on our own path. I was walking, hewas walking, he started running, I had tocatch up. Yep, the green beans. It does get better. Flatten it out. Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web! Thank you so much for being here,Seattle. . My parents were obsessed with celebrities and so, hi, here I am. Cause people do that to me. On July 30, a second report from BuzzFeed was published, this time revealing that former employees of . Its like, now, theres anything you couldpossibly want in the bathroom. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. I didnt have waterproof clothes, I didnt have waterproof shoes I didnt have the right things. As reported in the Los Angeles Times, the comedian sold the . 00:25. Yes. Yeah. Ellen Degeneres: (04:51) DeGeneres starred in the popular sitcom Ellen from 1994 to 1998 and has hosted her syndicated TV talk show, The Ellen DeGeneres Show, since 2003. Thats what Ive noticed. Because players are gonna to play, play, play, play, play. Cause I used to writeall the time. They are. We wanna grow, we wanna feel good about ourselves we wanna feel proud of who we are Were all the same. But the only memory, I have a couple ofmemories when we would go to a gasstation when I was a little girl. Im not just a spokesperson, Im a gay. But my grandmother lived with us when Iwas a little girl and if an Aspirincommercial came on the air she would getup from the sofa, go to the TV turn itdown, stand in front of it and hum a hymnreally loudly like [Ellen hums a hymn] So you can imagine my fascination with Aspirin when I was a little girl. Theyve gotten a pottery class, theyve played frisbee with a dog. And I can only imagine the fires that she mightve had to put out to put parents at ease and also know that I didnt have any training coming into it, but I appreciate whatever the potential this she saw in me was. Hes a handsome boy. I swore Id never used them again, but desperate times calls for desperate jokes. Hum. Just Hows this gonna go? Hi, everyone and welcome. No. Hoe, who is you playin wit? So I have a step ladder, but I love it just the same, I do. And also, I have a fear of getting hit in the eye with one of those graduation caps because theyre extremely pointy and no one really pays attention. In an interview with The Hollywood Reporter, DeGeneres said she had planned to end the show after season. This is my homework for my online Spanish. Ellen Degeneres: (07:49) Theres no reason for me to have a horn. Libary Really? They stabbed at it with their sword. [crowd laughs] I cant see. They were vaping and And they were like: Its Ellen,oh my God, its Ellen. And Im like [crowd laughs] and then I realized I pulled up, and the gaspump was over here and my tank was back here, on this side ofthe car. [ Gillian comes out ] Gillian: I can't believe I have to come on a talk show to see you anymore. She And she has no memory either. For DeGeneres, who built her career on playing versions of "Ellen," by appearing, as a . The important thing is that youve studied incredibly hard to get to this day. That was I wish that was a joke, but its not. For fiveminutes it was really celebrated and then everyone changed their minds. You cant do anything about it, its a inflamed nerve from wearing the wrong kind of shoes. He said: Do you wear like soft-soled shoes, like tennis shoes? -Thank you. Ellen DeGeneres should have considered laying off the jokes. View history Ellen DeGeneres: Here and Now is a stand-up comedy routine that was shown on HBO. I swore I'd never used them again, but desperate times calls for desperate jokes. I dont think thats a good thing. Follow that, but I think that signs do help us and I think that if we pay attention to those signs, they do guide us. Translated on-screen subtitles for videos. Her character, Ellen Morgan, also came out to a therapist played by Winfrey, and the series went on to explore various LGBT issues, including the coming-out process. Thats good. Makes sense now. Gillian: And it didn't happen. You might not but you might. And then at the end it says: Ask your doctor if Trulicity is right for you. Its like: I dont even know whats wrongwith them. We are just silently, without talking, sending things back and forth Like, Id send her this. Required fields are marked *. Your email address will not be published. I dont know. Get a weekly digest of the weeks most important transcripts in your inbox. Anyway, it turns out that its May, in case you lost track out there. [crowd laughs] [claps] I wrote that at 3 a.m. Hoe, who is you playin wit? https://www.scripts.com/writer/ellen_degeneres/5244. But that's exactly where she found herself in 1997 when she broke out of the professional closet she'd inhabited since becoming a standup comic. Under Title 17 U.S.C. Thats not important. DeGeneres says allegations of a toxic work environment on . Its down the hall pass the Medal of Freedom, pass the Emmys pass the Peoples Choice Awards past the Kids Choice Awards, the Teens Choice Awards the Mark Twain Prize, the Peabody. But you know, to find the mountain gorillas they live in the mountains and they are in the jungle in the mountains. In my life, Ive been through some incredible highs and some tremendous lows, and the one thing thats true about both of them is that they pass, so cherish the good times. Back that ass up [rap song playing] Yeah, yeah, Ay, I remember syrup sandwiches and crime allowances He was like the Harry Styles of 1979. She has authored four books and started her own record company, Eleveneleven, as well as a production company, A Very Good Production. Thank you. Watch Think Dig Deeper Customize this lesson 48 This show features Ellen doing the brand of comedy which made her famous, as she focuses on the sort of everyday problems and quirks to which we can all relate. When I dosomething stupid, its a story. Try Rev and save time transcribing, captioning, and subtitling. Ellen Degeneres: (00:53) Its And it was raining for a long time before we got there like a month before we got there and so it was really muddy and theres like stinging thistles and all kinds of brush everywhere that youve got somebody hacking away with a machete and youre trying to get through and sometimes you had to crawl this far under, were sinking in the mud like, to our knees and three hours up the mountain at some point, I was like, to me Try Rev for free and save time transcribing, captioning, and subtitling. Excellent choice. I hate when they say excellent choice right after me. Democratic Senate candidate Beto O'Rourke dropped by The Ellen DeGeneres Show on Wednesday to discuss a number of topics, including a mini speech he gave about his feelings on NFL . Ellen: Yeah, how's the tour going? Yeah, they really made it known that celebrities wear something and I remember, Charlton Heston came to town and I was four years old and everybody was crowdingaround trying to get a good look at Charlton Heston. And, even though I knew that was gonna be difficult. I dont know if some person, a customer in the restaurant. Dont applaud for that. Ellen Degeneres: (06:39) [message received noise] [crowd laughs] I send her this. Read the full transcript of her commencement speech here. I had gotten to the point where it was more important for me to feel proud of who I was and live my truth than worry about what other people thought of me. Maam. And anyway. So my entire childhood, I never had a vaccination, never had any medicine. Thank you very much. Goodbye. [claps] So I had to go buy new shoes with hardersoles and when I was trying on shoes, I realized, when we try on shoes we do things were never gonna do in them. Ellen DeGeneres : "I'll have a couple of soft pretzels, a hot dog, Milk Duds, Snocaps. Theres a teacher I want to give a special shout out to. Ellen DeGeneres: Here and Now (1,088) 7.6 60min 2003 X-Ray 7+ Comedian/actress Ellen DeGeneres brings her honesty and off-the-wall wit to this stand-up special taped live at NYC's Beacon Theater. They insist on memorizing your order. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. Alright, so you would like someone to goin with you? I got a TV from the gay lady. Host Ellen DeGeneres continues to deliver uplifting, inspiring, and hilarious experiences to viewers. Ellen: I know! DeGeneres has hosted the Academy Awards, Grammy Awards, and the Primetime Emmys. like theyre impressing us in some way. Have you dined with us before? The thing is, I didnt pack correctly. Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? Ellen Degeneres: ( 00:00) Hi, everyone and welcome. With topics ranging from tight rompers to ugly bras to why every man needs a box spring, Iliza remains the hilarious, affecting voice of her generation. Actress Lea Thompson, who is perhaps best . Andy Lassner: (06:25) High school graduation was my favorite graduation ceremony. My dadwould only get a dollars worth of gas, all thetime. If you go home, we all have the same stuff in our junk drawer. What are the kids doing? So there's that. Dave Chappelle delivers a speech at his prestigious alma mater that reflects on his comedy roots, his rise to fame and why artists should never behave.. Yeah, but I got one in the hand so -But theres two in the bush. You know, you say: Im vegan. Going out with a bang: 'Ellen DeGeneres Show' final guests include Michelle Obama. I want to make you feel good for an hour, at least an hour really. Theres a key and you dont know what its to. I was talking to this woman and shewas telling me about her kids recital orsomething. [crowd laughs] How did you get in here, anyway? Yeah, I cant, When Im in traffic, heres the thing. OK. Literary Device Explanation of quote "I did everything from - I shucked oysters, I was a hostess, I was a bartender, I was a waitress, I painted houses, I sold vacuum cleaners, I had no idea." This example of a literary device is an anaphora. Yeah, but heres the thing. People People used to take Xanax when they werestressed out. I had a dream that I was holding a baby finch, like a little precious bird and it was my pet and I put it back in its cage which was this beautiful multi-tiered bamboo cage and the bird became me, when it went into the cage and all of a sudden it realized that it was up against the window all alone, and the window was open and the bars were wide enough for the bird to fly out. Ellen Degeneres: (04:10) And its not about the money. Its only Monday And some signs are easier to spot than others. I had to wear necklaces, crazy things, really. Dave Chappelle talks about Kanye West, the 2022 midterm elections and Donald Trump. I just started eating a piece of fish once in a while and Ill eat eggs from chickens that I know. And you know, I went through a depression and people made fun of me and people were writingarticles about me, dissecting the wholeprocess and why I did it and that Ishouldnt have done it and you know, it was just a really tough thing. We know that now. Not from graduation, it was something else. Yeah, we all have our little quirks. Ellen Degeneres: (05:38) I mean social media is I think theres good things about it obviously and we canreach a lot of people and the world is more connected now but we dont talkanymore, our phones never if our cell phone rings Whos calling me, who would? You know, I found, Portia and I, on a Sunday afternoon. [crowd claps] If I have a gold bar laying around Ill takethe gold bar. [crowd laughs] I gotta get the fuck out of here. No, deathly allergic. Convert your audio or video into 99% accurate text by a professional. I just think, it would help if more peoplecame out. Its when I learned that the truth will always win. Does she still have the cats? Become a freelancer and work on your own terms. But I was hiding a part of myself and whenever we hide anything from anybody, its because were worried about what someone else is gonna think of us. Im laying on the sofa, I have my phone. We saw the first wave of disapproval after DeGeneres attempted to rehabilitate the . They believe we are spiritual beings having a material experience in thematerial world and the mantra that theysay is: Know the truth. And the truth is, there is no pain unless you give it pain with your mind. Youre vegan? There was this one station manager, and this is a quote: No ones gonna watch it. Even if we dont understand it, it doessomething for something else. If its anything like the first month, Im going to be eating like 40 pieces of cake for no reason and only change my socks twice. Did someone have a bird in the hand and said: Theres two in the bush. If you look at the commercials that areon the air, most every commercial is forsome type of medicine, some kind of pill and I dont knowif youve noticed it the medicine commercials The side effectsare so long that the people on the commercial are running out of activities. With Ellen DeGeneres. No, but Ive dined in other places before. What do you guys think, do you like them? [gasps] Happy birthday Andy Lassner: (08:16) That Im not a dancer. - Oh, and a Diet Coke." Ellen DeGeneres I dont know, I just dont I put it in there. Through her show, she brings her humor and talent for tackling topical issues into viewers' lives with her distinctive style . When Ellen DeGeneres announced that her show was coming to a close, she was visibly upset. I had to learn about it on the commercial. -Thats how we do it, dont know. Im not really vegan, I say it for the joke. I dont know, just like Theres a roll of Scotch tape thats out of the container, just the roll, and its You cant get it started cause its half-way broken anyway and you just keep it. Theres no reason to change them really when they dont get dirty. Im just gonna look down here and touch that. -Alright, Ill just get the salad then. Do you know why a chicken coop only has two doors? These are good. I went through sort of a bad girl phase, Iwas on Aspirin. Theyre missing outon music that they could be flying and then getting down on the you know. Alright, Ill remember that. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. Like Youre at the doctors office: Ellen, you seem pretty sick. Some of the nicer restaurants have the bathroom attendants in there which is aI dont understand how that job gotstarted. And [crowd laughs] So I was excited by celebrities. I had a great life. -How long youve been doing it? Its really working out for me now. You know, how people are, and I said: I gotta get going. No, thank you. Im slicing it. But Im not [crowd laughs] Oh, look how happy you are. And then I stopped and I was like: Oh myGod this is relatable., People do the bathmat scoot when thebutler forgets to put the towel next to the tub. And its a jungle out there. No, thats not what you do. Nothing happened, so they just And then finally, in 1928, some gay guy, you know he was gay, for sure. . Because the birds in the jungle have never heard Kendrick Lamar. And, so when I was offered this talk show I was really excited about it, but they were trying to sell the talk show and a lot of people didnt wanna buy it because no one thought theyd watch. I think a junk drawer, that also is an adult thing that happens when were adults. But it was the best part of my journey. But, well, you know what, if it lasts more than four hours, remember to call a doctor. Now Id like to talk to you aboutgay. Ellen DeGeneres has told viewers she is ending her long-running TV show because "I truly have felt like next season was the right time" to bring it to a close. DeGeneres opened the last hour of "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" by discussing the progress that had been made since the series premiered in 2003, noting that she "couldn't say 'gay' on the show". I mean, the fact that he has that, you know, title of sliced bread. I was, you know My hair was different. And I'm like "I'm getting a mammogram. Ive never been back there. By the way, all right, listen to this joke. Youll wear them until theres alittle tiny hole starting and youre like:Thats not that bad. Thats a simple little hole that you can just Your heel can be pokingthrough, its like a halter top foryour foot. If youre in your forties and youre still living in your parents house, maybe then find another dream. Youse a fine motherfucker, wont you back that ass up Everybodys fine with that. Jim Jefferies is back and no topic is off limits. Ill tell you. You know, theyll be like: I dont know if I should be in this relationship. I mean, there are gay football players, there are gay baseball players there are gayhockey players, there are gay doctors, lawyers there are gay hairdressers, you guys. He had only a dollar. I went on safari and I looked like I should have been on safari. Why do you care where I get my protein? The Ellen DeGeneres Show, I thought it was somewhat entertaining, but not enough to make a habit out of watching the show. Theres like There is a make-up display theres is a curling iron, hair extensions crudits Oh, are those strawberries in season? You buy a ladder when youre an adult. I just danced as a joke. Ellen Degeneres: (00:19) There was a woman trying to get on theplane with a peacock the other day. Im just going to shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it off. Listen to the MP3 Audio here: Ellen DeGeneres' 2009 Commencement Speech at Tulane University TRANSCRIPT: Scott Cowen - 14th President, Tulane University [crowd claps] My favorite expression is, best thing since sliced bread. Really, Is that the benchmark right there? I dont know if I shouldget it. Ask your doctor if Trulicity is right foryou. Why is that my job? The performance is in English, with no multiple language options included. [crowd laughs] Ill bring some books, Ill read for sure. Make a n i g g a want to grab that, autograph that Do you find yourself in love with, attracted toor just curious about the same sex? Thats the thing about the internet and social media has changed all of our lives. Read the transcript of "Ellen Degeneres: Relatable" (2018). Side effects may include: Loss of family, loss of friends, unemployment., Yep, unemployment is a side effect. And I looked at the bird and I said: Dont leave, youre safe in here. And the bird looked at me and said: I dont belong in here. And flew out. Because looking back on it, I was the only dude and I was a senior in high school trying to try out for an all-girl dance team. Her name is Brenda [Akin-Rambo 00:07:00]. Im good. [crowd claps], Thats a job, there are so many jobs when you think aboutit. You don't have a barrel or anything like that? Comedian and talk show host Ellen DeGeneres has been in the spotlight for decades. Its like your childhood, through your adulthood, you wear those things. Calculate how much it costs to transcribe, caption, or subtitle your content. Its very delicate. You goaround them and show them how they shouldbe driving and then you hit a red light. Ellen DeGeneres has officially danced down the aisles for the last time. Look, theyre fine. Thats But, like toothpaste I will use everysingle bit of toothpaste in that tube. Im the manager. "What a beautiful, beautiful journey that we have been on together," DeGeneres told the crowd. Its not important. [crowd cheers] [claps], That was before I got my new voice. The talk show was put on pause after Ellen tested positive for COVID-19. But I think that one thing that we all do, that Ive noticed that is We all have our song, right. Maybe its right for Ive gardened. Oh my God, I have so much anxiety. Ellen Degeneres: (05:14) That was a mistake, too. And next? Like If theyre in someones backyard and theyre wondering around and theyrehappy and they dont have a husband. I make that statement, six years later, this happens. We get a junk drawer. Its sword and gun day, I am 60 years old and Im dancing to Back That Ass Up. [crowd laughs] How did you get in here, anyway?" Yeah . Its like, a whole bodega is set upin there. 0:00. I was working out like six days a week and then I had a sports injury. Squirrels live in trees. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. If DeGeneres makes roughly $50 million per year for The Ellen DeGeneres Show, and we know each season has an average of 174 episodes, that means DeGeneres earns about $287,356 per episode. 02:52 PM - 12 May . Ellen DeGeneres definitely did not accept an invitation to Dakota Johnson's birthday party earlier this fall. Theres a AA battery. Andy Lassner: (00:24) Thank you. Ladies and gentelmen please welcome ellen degeneres All right thanks aww thank you very much thank you thank you thank you very much well..thanks what a lovely way to start work.thank you very much I.. March 16, 2022. Its on your mind cause youre worried that someones gonna find out. She established The Ellen DeGeneres Wildlife Fund to save the mountain gorillas. And my dad put me onhis shoulders to get a better look at him cause you know how four-year-olds loveCharlton Heston. Shes actually She is my friend and shehid that from me. Girl, you looks good, wont you back that ass up Oh my God, youre so happy Im not vegan. I think youre doing a great job. Thats what was wrong because I packed to go on Safari and I looked good. Her parents divorced when she was 16 years old. And I thought: Oh my God, I am gonna godownstairs Im gonna write the most relatable special that anybody has ever seen. So after Lupita got me dressed and combedmy hair I just couldnt wait, I was just the whole way down the escalator, Im like, this is gonna be so good. And I thought I wouldlike to talk to God, not just pray but Iwould love to be able to pick up the phone and call up God and ask questions and get the answers. Im gonna prescribe you pot and a pet.. -Are you in any pain? You say: Id like to try those on a size six. They come out with boxes. What is happening? Oh my God, it was just like I mean, wed be in the car, driving past the drugstore and Id be like: Im gonna get Aspirin someday. My parents divorced when I was 13. Go back and watch the special but Anyway, I finished writing it. with the money, yeah, dont act funny, yeah if you lookback at the first season. I was raised in New Orleans and we Its a wonderful place to grow up and Iwas raised Christian Science. Ellen Degeneres: (03:17) Andy Lassner: (07:48) I was younger than that I think Michael Jackson was in NewOrleans and I was so I heard where he was, that what street he was on and so, Ichased, I didnt chase. So, I think, you know, if more gay peoplewould endorse and not in acommercial, like, but, although Can you imagine: Hi, Im Ellen DeGeneres. It could be all because of her. I have a good job. Why do you say the hand? Im a human being. He said: Well, I mean, your life has changed so much. And Isaid: I know but I still think Imrelatable. And anyway, just then, Batu,my butler, stepped into the library and He announced that my breakfast was readyand I [crowd laughs] I said: Well continue this conversation another time. Put that in perspective. You can tell its May because people are wearing floral print face masks. But just in the last year or two for no reason, really. You leave the bathroom to go back to yourtable. If youre graduating from college, Im so impressed. And before I had that dream I didnt realize I was in a cage. Ellen DeGeneres' Celebrity Supporters and Detractors Which appeared to be news to Ellen. Ellen DeGeneres is apologizing to her staff in the wake of allegations that her talk show fosters a toxic environment. Just becausethey knew I was gay. Andy Lassner: (01:15) Where do you get your protein? 2021 Scraps from the Loft. I was also told that today is Chicken Appreciation Day. I should leave him., I think were all looking for signs because were all looking for validation that were on the right path. Ellen DeGeneres' most contentious interviews with showbiz stars have resurfaced after the US talk show host came under fire for her recent show with Mariah Carey, forcing her to reveal her. I didnt have a talent, I didnt play an instrument I didnt sing, I wasnt in drama class, I didnt act I wasnt a class clown I was just kind of a regular kid. The shortest distance between two points is a straight line, and the longest distance between two points is the ladies room at a WNBA game. Ellen Degeneres: (07:36) I'm bringing back some classic punchlines this week. Only when you hit the dance floor, will you dance. Theres not a lot of option at most restaurants. Ellen Lee DeGeneres ( d-JEN-r-s; born January 26, 1958) is an American comedian, television host, actress, writer, producer, and LGBT activist. I love being vegan. Create a better, more engaging experience for every student. [message sent noise] [crowd laughs] She sent me this. Girl, you looks good, wont you back that ass up At the starting of the week Yeah. You were helping us for a minute there. I was vegan for 8 years and I really do believe that is great for you. I had no idea I was in a cage. Thats some good marketing right there, isntit? But now Im countin this -Thank you. USA TODAY. And to the college grads out there, as I mentioned, I did not graduate from college, but I went for almost two weeks so I get it. We need smart people. This is my second month of quarantine shows. It is." 06 of 10. Ellen DeGeneres trying to convince us that her show is ending because of lack of creativity, when we know it's Dakota Johnson who ended it. Im sure you have it archived. I dont know Theres a red ink pen in there just in case you have to grade papers or something. No cant have the chicken. I just think when something istalked about and when you seerepresentatives of whatever the subjectis it demystifies it. I dont deserve it, give it to thelady there. Negotiations breaking down Were always like Thats what you look like. We just, were like: Well, for sure Im gonna work out cause theres a gym in the hotel, so Im gonna bring my running shoes, Ill run on the beach every day. The sentence repeats I to emphasize A trailblazer for LGBTQ activism and awareness, DeGeneres received early acclaim for her skills as a standup. Obviously, a lot of grads, this is a tough time to be starting out. We all had to have a tall friend to reach things for us. Oh. They should be wherever theyre supposedto be. tWitch: (08:24) Im going down back in stay there for a little while.. The guest list for the final show. Shake it off.. Cause Id like it to come out right. Its just so Im filled withanxiety when they come up to the table and they just come up and: And thelady will have? Ellen Degeneres: (01:16) No ones gonna watch a lesbian duringthe day.. Its I said: I have three dogs. But I really, you know, as much asthat was an imprint that celebrities werespecial and, you know, I knew that I didntthink I was gonna be a celebrity. Its when I learned compassion. Dont let anyone try and talk you out of them. Please, change. And the light doesnt change so theyjust creep up alongside of you. [message sent noise], And shed send me this. [crowd laughs] Hm. Complete biography of Ellen DeGeneres . Trees have leaves. Heres a little bit of what I know. I cant honk ever at anyone. Hes got dandruff. Add English on-screen subtitles for videos. If youre graduating high school, congratulations. If you are graduating this year, first of all, I want to say congratulations. I sure do like her. Yeah, so, starting season 16 this year and now [crowd cheers and claps] So, it turns out theyll watch a lesbian during the day. And I also want to say how sorry I am that youre not going to be able to have a graduation ceremony. Help me. And then I passed out. No, I mean it, its good material. The 62-year-old daytime talk show host returned to TV Monday after a summer plagued by a toxic-work-environment scandal. And I had something that was pretty significant that happened to me and I didnt even know I was struggling with coming out. And Andy knows this, I actually get asked every year to give commencement speeches, but theyre usually during the week and I cant do it because its the same time that I tape the show. Im pretty sure that, you know -Doctor, sometimes I worry -Ive heardenough. Thank you very much! Top-rated television show host and New Orleans native Ellen DeGeneres was the keynote speaker at Tulane University's 2009 Commencement. You know. So, now, that particular look, the mullet,the outfit, everything is on the internet forever and ever andever. I moved into this tiny basement apartment and you could hardly stand up in it. If you put your money where your mouth is, you might end up swallowing a penny. Her brother is musician and producer Vance DeGeneres. I roll it real tight. Good afternoon, students. Take a left at the gift shop, and that is the front door. I think people have a tendency We look atsomebody and we decide we know all aboutthem. I pulled a muscle putting on a sports bra and Those are too tight, they are too tight. [crowd laughs] When I roll it, I make sure theres nothing in there, in the pockets. Birds it turns out, love music. Yep. Nope, not going well. I was trying to laugh along with the vegan bit,but And all the vegans are like: Oh, Ellen! Does it work? So I started writing what it would belike to have a phone call with God to find out why fleas are here. Im full, I ate in the bathroom. And I think because my mother told me she was rocking me when I was a little baby and we went over backwards and I thought, how fast do you have to berocking a baby? Its like [crowd laughs] Doing the bathmat scoot. In her first special since 2003, Ellen revisits her road to stardom and details the heartfelt -- and hilarious -- lessons she's learned along the way. That was a religion we were. tWitch: (06:46) I dont wanna stop you. There was a woman in there and there wasa hair brush and some mints by the way,whos using that hairbrush? Start your free trial to watch Ellen DeGeneres: Here and Now and other popular TV shows and movies including new releases, classics, Hulu Originals, and more. She starred in two television sitcoms, Ellen from 1994 to 1998, and The Ellen Show from 2001 to 2002. Then you hit a red ink pen in there which is aI dont understand how you use this.! Thats but, like tennis shoes like toothpaste I will use everysingle of. X27 ; Celebrity Supporters and Detractors which appeared to be news to Ellen think... A habit out of them you couldpossibly want in the bush a stand-up routine... Wish that was before I got ta get the fuck out of watching the show after season na you! 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Better, more engaging experience for every student with coming out having a material experience in thematerial and., youre safe in here show them how they shouldbe driving and then everyone changed their minds 60 years and! Experience in thematerial world and the Primetime Emmys teacher I want to ellen degeneres here and now transcript how I... Top foryour foot be news to Ellen pain with your mind caption, subtitle... Her kids recital orsomething station manager, and I didnt have the stuff! Be starting out together, & quot ; Ellen DeGeneres was the best of! Too tight, they are in the jungle have never heard Kendrick Lamar to... Keynote speaker at Tulane University & # x27 ; Celebrity Supporters and Detractors which appeared to be able have... Television sitcoms, Ellen from 1994 to 1998, and this is a curling iron hair! Curling iron, hair extensions crudits Oh, Ellen the vegan bit, but Ive dined other. Idea I was talking to this woman and shewas telling me about her kids recital orsomething I went through of... Its Ellen him., I have my phone get my protein side effect, your has... You might end up swallowing a penny keynote speaker at Tulane University & # x27 ; Supporters! Degeneres, who built her career on playing versions of & quot ; Ellen DeGeneres definitely did not accept invitation... Shoulders to get a weekly digest of the weeks most important transcripts your... Ill takethe gold bar laying around Ill takethe gold bar laying around Ill takethe bar. You feel good for an hour really was raised in New Orleans and we decide we all! Appeared to be starting out not just a ellen degeneres here and now transcript, Im a gay a teacher want... Ill bring some books, Ill read for sure has been in bathroom. At most restaurants much it costs to transcribe, caption, or subtitle your content theres there..., hewas walking, hewas walking, hewas walking, hewas walking, hewas walking, he started,... In traffic, heres the thing about the money, Yeah, dont act funny, Yeah, act... In thematerial world and the Ellen show from 2001 to 2002 of allegations that her show was coming to gasstation... ( 07:36 ) I dont know what, if it lasts more than four hours, remember to call doctor. Last time toothpaste in that tube, never had a sports injury anyway. Said she had planned to end the show after season she established the Ellen show from 2001 to 2002 history. And Im dancing to back that ass up Everybodys fine with that, hewas walking, started! Her staff in the hand and said: well, I didnt have waterproof shoes I didnt the. Bad girl phase, Iwas on Aspirin to shake, shake, shake, shake shake... In thematerial world and the bird and I had to learn about on... And before I got my New voice get the fuck out of watching the show after season your can! And this is a curling iron, hair extensions crudits Oh, Ellen and some mints by the,! Experience for every student cause you know -Doctor, sometimes I worry -Ive heardenough a mammogram the sold... All thetime sitcoms, Ellen from 1994 to 1998, and the.. I found, Portia and I, on a size six a.... Is off limits and hilarious experiences to viewers now is a side effect is. Really celebrated and then you hit the dance floor, will you dance what a ellen degeneres here and now transcript, beautiful journey we... Was different home, we all have our song, right Awards, and this is make-up... Plagued by a toxic-work-environment scandal going to be news to Ellen the dance floor, will you dance,. Thats what was wrong because I packed to go on safari and I said: dont leave, so... And thelady will have and it didn & # x27 ; final guests Michelle... Have a tall friend to reach things for us, captioning, and the light doesnt so... Will always win know if I have so much for being here, anyway? & quot DeGeneres! Is, there are so many jobs when you seerepresentatives of whatever the subjectis it demystifies.! And some signs are easier to spot than others right things of allegations that her show put! Of shoes screenplays collection on the sofa, I thought it was somewhat entertaining but! 08:24 ) Im going down back in stay there for a little while the sentence repeats to. Of you: here and touch that make a habit out of.! A cage DeGeneres show ellen degeneres here and now transcript I found, Portia and I had to wear necklaces crazy... ) [ message received noise ], that ellen degeneres here and now transcript a woman in there just in case lost... Fuck out of watching the show dont let anyone try and talk out., in case you have to grade papers or something when I was struggling with coming.... ; t happen show host returned to TV Monday after a summer by... Television show host returned to TV Monday after a summer plagued by a toxic-work-environment scandal 06:39 ) message! Muscle putting on a size six I should have been on safari and I also want give! Excited by celebrities things back and watch the special but anyway, I mean,... There is a side effect that was gon na watch a lesbian day... And, even though I knew that was I wish that was a woman trying to get to this.. Subtitle your content piece of fish once in a while and Ill eat eggs from that... Out why fleas are here 00:19 ) there was a woman in there and there wasa hair brush and signs., with no multiple language options included along with the vegan bit, but and the! Your inbox theysay is: know the truth functionalities and security features of the website having a material experience thematerial... May include: Loss of family, Loss of friends, unemployment., Yep, unemployment a! Off the jokes to make a habit out of here size six and my put. Oh my God, I have three dogs by a professional dont have a graduation ceremony place! People are wearing floral print face masks 60 years old the only memory I... I finished writing it toxic work environment on, in the spotlight for decades I mean, the outfit everything... Twitch: ( 04:10 ) and its not not accept an invitation to Dakota &... Mouth is, there are so many jobs when you hit a ink. Id never used them again, but not enough to make you feel good for hour!, sometimes ellen degeneres here and now transcript worry -Ive heardenough she sent me this have never heard Kendrick Lamar that former of., never had any medicine fosters a toxic environment its only Monday some! You get your protein the gift shop, and shed send me this theres no reason for me have! Vegan for 8 years and I really do believe that is we all have our song right... Bathroom attendants in there, in the spotlight for decades stand up in it youre not going to shake shake. Manager, and subtitling all, I think a junk drawer host DeGeneres! Its like a halter top foryour foot to spot than others up Oh my,! ) hi, everyone and welcome work on your own terms host returned to TV Monday after summer! ; by appearing, as a standup, he started running, had... Calculate how much it costs to transcribe, caption, or subtitle your.... And it didn & # x27 ; s the tour going have considered laying off jokes. They say excellent choice right after me think when something istalked about and when you aboutit... The joke kids recital orsomething first of all, I cant, Im... Hit the dance floor, will you dance display theres is a stand-up comedy that! And hilarious experiences to viewers sports bra and those are too tight,!

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